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“Why Don’t They Reply?” “What Should I Do?”

The topic I get contacted about most is lack of replies. Why don’t they reply? What should I do? Should I follow up? When should I follow up?

I’ve covered pretty much every angle on the topic over the past two decades because it appears there is a lot of not replying going on. I guess because it is easy to ignore an email many folks think that’s okay. Not realizing, or in some case not caring about, the impact ignoring the other side may have.

Then I get emails from those who let me know it is their choice to ignore and possibly hurt others feelings. To quote:

If they didn’t want their feelings hurt they shouldn’t of emailed me in the first place.

Wow… or….

I don’t have to respond to every email — that’s my choice.

That’s true. Your time is so much more important! And then there’s….

All I did was respond once which certainly didn’t mean I wanted to form a long-term relationship.

Good to know.

Maybe you should be more clear with those you communicate with. How about including a disclaimer something like this at the end of every email:

DISCLAIMER: Emails from me in no way indicate I care to continue communicating with you or that I want to form any sort of meaningful relationship. This could be my one and only response. Deal with it.

Yeah, I know — that’s a bit over the top. But my heart breaks from the emails I receive from nice folks who communicate with feeling and sincerity who don’t know why they are being “blown off”. I try to explain that the person is busy, maybe the email got caught in spam filters, try sending a kind follow up — the usual.

Cut your losses….

My advice to those who contact me and pour their hearts out over being ignored? Move. On.

Don’t fret about those who don’t treat you with respect and kindness. They aren’t worth your time.

It appears there are always going to be onliners who have no problem ignoring those who are trying to communicate with them. That tells me is two things.

  1. If both sides were clear communicators, we would have less incorrect expectations.
  2. Technology seems to bring out the worst in people when they don’t care how their actions or lack there of effect others.

The greater person is one of courtesy.
~ Alfred Lord Tennyson

For those struggling with this issue, here are some of my other articles on lack of replies.

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