A concerned site visitor writes:
I have a question about email etiquette I am hoping you can help me with. To make a long story short, an old boyfriend found me on the Internet. He is married but not happily (so he says), I am widowed. He arranged for me to meet him at a resort, paying for everything including my airfare. Now for 2 weeks I have not heard from him and am wondering what to do. Emails are going unanswered. In one of his emails, he had his neighbors email address and now I wonder if it would be appropriate to email them and ask about him. They do not know of our involvement and I plan to keep it that way. It’s the not knowing that is making me feel sad as if a member of my family has died. Please advise if it’s proper netiquette to contact these neighbors?
This really isn’t about email etiquette, it’s more about having discretion and using common sense. Seems this guy took advantage of your vulnerability — which makes him a predator. As an adult that’s the risk you took getting involved with him knowing his “situation”.
No, it is not appropriate to email the neighbors. They did not give you their email address — the creep you had a fling with did. They were mostly likely complicit in his “activities” so how would contacting them be a benefit? This is your situation to resolve in another way — if at all. The fact he is using another person’s address is a big red flag!
Folks don’t respond for a reason — they don’t care or are trying to make a point. It may be hard to do but you have to take your wishful thinking and emotions out of this situation to see it for what it really is. That’s harder by email for sure but one thing is clear, if your emails are not being responded to, take it as a hint and move on to someone who is more likely to be honest with you.
Chalk this one up to experience and a lesson learned the hard way!