Are apologies by email acceptable?

Apologies are never easy. Apologizing means you are admitting a fault, wrong decision, mistake, or lack of proper judgment. It takes real character to admit when you are wrong and to make amends. It takes a heap of integrity to do so properly and at the proper venue.

The effort you should make to offer a sincere apology would depend on what you need to apologize for. The gravity of the situation guides you in the actions you need to take to show that your apology is sincere.

And, you know what those are… But the question for many is, are you up to that challenge?

Nowadays, we take the easy way out and use email when we should really meet in person with the party in question or place that important phone call. Unfortunately, when faced with the choice between apologizing face-to-face and via email, many let their pride prevail and hide behind screens.

Offering a Sincere Apology

Apologies are serious things and should never be trivialized. If the apology is for a minor flub, that’s one thing, and an email apology may suffice. For example, if you have an email misunderstanding with an online-only contact, an email apology could be appropriate.

Anything serious, especially when it comes to family or true friends, would require you to call or meet in person to apologize. Show that you have a backbone, understand why you need to apologize, and apologize in person. Now, that’s sincerity!

All of us can think of emails we have received where we’ve thought, “They wouldn’t say that to my face!” The same goes for apologies. Some online users are more comfortable apologizing and expressing their feelings in writing than face-to-face.

Depending on the gravity of what you are apologizing for, I get that—but apologies need to reflect that gravity. If you think about it, an apology, by its very nature, should not be comfortable.

Character Matters

If you cannot bear to talk to the person or meet with them and feel you are better able to communicate your true feelings and regret in writing, then why not send a nice handwritten note? Your handwritten apology will reveal your sincerity and character.

Then, depending on what the apology is for, consider backing up that note with a meeting or phone call. If you can’t see your way to making that much effort, then one can only ask how truly apologetic you are.

When it comes to apologizing, you have to consider what the appropriate thing to do is. Not what is the easiest or most comfortable approach for you. As is usually the case when it comes to apologies, the right thing to do tends to be the least comfortable — and the most humbling, coincidentally.

Bottom line? How you say you are sorry shows how sorry you really are.