Old Flame & E-mail Etiquette

A concerned site visitor writes:

To make a long story short, an old boyfriend found me on the Internet. He is married but not happily (so he says), I am widowed. He arranged for me to meet him at a resort, paying for everything including my airfare. Now for 2 weeks I have not heard from him and am wondering what to do. Emails are going unanswered. In one of his emails, he had his neighbors email address and now I wonder if it would be appropriate to email them and ask about him. They do not know of our involvement and I plan to keep it that way. It’s the not knowing that is making me feel sad as if a member of my family has died. Please advise if it’s proper netiquette to contact these neighbors?

Yikes…. This really isn’t about e-mail etiquette, it’s more about having discretion and using common sense. As an adult that’s the risk you took getting involved with a married man — regardless of how unhappy (so he says) he is.

No it is not appropriate to contact the neighbors. What a cad he is by even involving them. They did not give you their e-mail address — the creep you had a fling with did. You don’t know them therefore you don’t e-mail them about your illicit affair. This is your situation to resolve in another way. The fact he is using another person’s address is a big red flag!

Regardless of the emotions involved, until or when if ever he is a free man, consider your trip one of life’s adventures (or mistakes) that you now have to leave behind you. Chalk this one up to experience!