Recently I received 2 emails asking me about getting a “Dear John” email with the sender wondering how they should reply.
In my opinion, no reply is necessary — get on with your life. Anyone who would treat you in that manner isn’t worth a another moment or millisecond of your time. I know that is easier said than done when someone you care about shocks you by behaving in this manner, but if it were me I would not justify that type of an email with are response.
One lady wrote that after a decade long relationship, that the Dear John email not only ended things but made the statement to not bother replying or calling. Fine — I would honor that request. What a cad! And a chicken boy to hide behind his monitor when it comes to something he should have been man enough to talk about in person about!! Especially after a decade? I guess we aren’t raising men to man-up when apropos anymore — but that’s a topic for another website, right?
Some things are not meant to be communicated by email. Breaking up a relationship is one of them. Not only is it extremely bad manners to send a Dear John email, it is plain old selfish and reflects your lack of character in doing so. Obviously anyone would be better off without a person in their life who cannot even give them the courtesy of telling them in person about such an important and emotional decision.
There are just times when, if you are a decent human being, you have to communicate face-to-face or at the very least on the phone in certain circumstances. Even if it is more difficult — it is simply the right thing to do!
Unfortunately, there will always be those who are lean on character and integrity who will hide behind their screens when it comes to doing what’s right. That in of itself should speak volumes of the type of person they are (and are not!).
If you receive a Dear John email you are better off without someone you cannot depend on to do what is right. Hold your head high and know they just did you a favor by removing themselves from your life!