Email is Not All About You

Many folks don’t think about the other side when they email — they just want a response. Unfortunately, because it is typical for the other side not to respond as quickly as we prefer, some assume you are ignoring them. What I recently experienced is probably something many of you will too when you cannot check email constantly or as expected, so I thought I would share with you.

Recently, I was ill. It was one of the few times since I started my business over 29 years ago that I did not respond to emails on a Friday—and then on Saturday. I let clients know from the start that I keep to business hours, that I am not available by text, and that I tend to play hooky on Friday afternoons. This is how I set expectations right up front.

This particular Friday, I was too sick to get out of bed. (I wish I was “playing hooky.”) I didn’t go near my computer on that Saturday either. Just thinking about getting up was exhausting.

You don’t realize how you take feeling good every day for granted — until you don’t.

Usually, I check my email on Saturday mornings to delete spam, clear my inbox, and address any emergencies (perceived or otherwise). If it is not an emergency, the email can wait until Monday.

Then I got sick. Little did I know what not checking email that particular weekend would lead to.

It’s not all about you…

On Monday, when I responded that I was out of pocket and not feeling well that Friday, the responses were one extreme or another. Most folks were understanding and compassionate. Others, well, all I can say is — yikes.

Several who wondered why I had not responded promptly (I am known for responding to emails within hours during business hours) offered encouragement that I would feel better soon. They also sent their best wishes and told me their requests could wait until I felt better.

These folks made me smile and reminded me why I enjoy my job. And why I work with them.

Bees may sting…

Remember that old saying, “You attract more bees with honey”? In some cases, no amount of honey will make a difference.

One person asked why I couldn’t send a mass email letting everyone know my situation. I didn’t want to go into further details, which would make the person feel bad. But then I thought, maybe they wouldn’t feel bad…

Another individual sent four follow-up emails (and texts), insinuating that I was ignoring them and that I didn’t consider their request important. “I really need your response now, whether you think it is important or not!”

The project in question had dragged on with this particular individual almost three months past the target completion date. They decided this was the weekend they were going to play catch-up.

They asked for a response for specific information I had already provided several times. If they were to look, they could find the information they sought in those previous emails.

So, I do not respond to an email sent on a Friday until Monday, and we jump to these conclusions? These were not urgent requests due to hacking, sites being down, or where I could understand the need for immediate action. They were finally ready to get to work, and I should jump.

Courtesy and Stern Professionalism

I always respond courteously and give the other side the benefit of the doubt. I do not respond in kind when I receive accusatory emails or based on a false premise. I correct the record in a professional, factual, and informative manner.

But with some folks, the hits just keep on coming.

When I mentioned I had been ill and was disappointed at being accused of neglect, the response was…

How was I to know you were sick! Answers, please?

X-Client

No apology followed. Crickets.

Sadly, Some Folks are Not Worth the Effort

The writing was already on the wall because the project had made no progress. This communication style gave me the last-needed nudge to let this individual go.

You don’t have to work with everyone who comes your way, and you don’t have to continue with those who don’t treat you with respect. And that’s okay.

A little courtesy goes a long way. Please, thank you; I appreciate your help. “Is everything alright?” Taking the time to include comments like this can make you appear like everything isn’t about you.

Because, guess what? It isn’t.