Are You Always the Email Initiator?

Do you have acquaintances with whom you are the one who always initiates contact? Are there certain people where you only get an email from them when they are responding to your emails? Should you always continue to be the one to make the first move?

Hey! It’s me — again!

I can understand how frustrating that must be. It makes you wonder if they really care if you contact them. Otherwise, wouldn’t they at least contact you every once and awhile? If only to see if all is well.

In most cases, it is just that the other person is busy. No one would argue that we live in a very selfish culture. But we always make time for those we care about, right?

It could be that taking the first step is appreciated as that allows them to communicate with you. If they respond promptly, with enthusiasm, that would indicate they are pleased you emailed them. You have to decide if that is the type of one-way friendship you want to continue to nurture.

How They Respond — If at All

When the other side responds in kind with details, is chatty, and seems to enjoy your email, why not continue? However, when no response arrives or if the replies are terse or abrupt, that is a different story.

We are all busy and must choose how we spend our time. That requires you to think about what is convenient for you and what will be the courteous action to take. Not responding promptly and in a tone reflecting you care speaks for itself.

If someone doesn’t reply promptly and in a way you can recognize as pleasant and open to conversation, maybe just forget about it and wait until they contact you. It’s called taking a hint.

Sometimes, Once in Awhile is Enough

Several folks from my past will email me on occasion. I don’t mind replying to them and doing so in a way that lets them know that.

I never email them first, primarily because they are not an active part of my life. In most cases, I am cordial and polite even if I am not interested in reinstating a close relationship. I have a hard time completely ignoring folks who reach out. It’s just not who I am.

Rarely do I entirely ignore someone who emails me. For those uncommon situations where I do not respond, it is because we have no relationship or anything in common to continue communicating. In that case, what is the point? Both sides need to be realistic in that regard.

Based on the replies (or lack thereof), I think you know in your gut if the other side wants to continue to hear from you. And, if they don’t – who cares – that is their loss! Spend your time communicating and forming relationships with those who appreciate and are open to your efforts.