10 Questions to See if You Are Viewed as Rude in Emails

All too often, otherwise friendly folks come off as terse or plain-old rude in their email habits. Most emailers do not intentionally set out to sound that way. Well, I guess some do, but for the most part, I prefer to believe the majority do not.

How to Avoid Appearing Rude in Email

How do you know if you are viewed as rude? If your email habits smack of a lack of consideration for the person on the other side, folks probably cringe when they see your name in their inbox.

Below are the most common oversights I regularly see online, oversights that can lead to a negative perception. If you answer yes to any of the following questions, you are likely perceived as rude.

Do you forward emails without comment?
Forwarding without taking the time to write a comment about why you are forwarding that particular email to that specific person will cause you to be viewed as rude. If you don’t want to make this effort — don’t bother forwarding the email in the first place.
Do you disregard requests from others who ask that you not forward emails to them?
Not everyone wants to receive all those “informative” emails you think are important. Especially if you are forwarding without comment or consideration by clicking Send to your entire address book.
Do you send overly large, unexpected attachments?
You need to take the time to determine the file size and ask first about the best time to send any large files. You don’t know the other side’s data limits. Sending an unasked-for, unannounced large file will probably be viewed as rude.
Do you send attachments after business hours?
You will be viewed as rude if you send large, unexpected attachments after business hours, which could fill inboxes. Especially in business, send attachments only when expected and during business hours.
Do you start every email with a greeting and end it with a closing?
Always open with “Hi” or “Hello,” followed by the recipient’s name, and close with “Sincerely,” “Take Care,” or “TTYS,” followed by your name. Not taking the time to type a greeting and sign off with a personal courtesy can make you appear demanding or curt, which is viewed as rude.
Do you jump to the website’s contact link?
You should first search the site and read any available information. What does it say when you ask about information provided for convenience? Not searching first will reflect that your time is more important than the site owners’.
Do you use multiple !!! or ??? in your emails?
Overuse of punctuation to make a point will make a point. Not only will you come off as sarcastic and condescending, but you can also be viewed as rude.
Do you pack the To: or Cc: fields with email addresses?
Particularly, contacts who do not know each other? This is a severe breach of privacy. Exposing your contacts’ email addresses to strangers is considered rude.
Do you make sure your emails have the proper intent and tone?
Changing font colors and sizes, and overusing punctuation, can be perceived as rude. Something as simple as reading your email out loud before clicking send can avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.
Do you whitelist your contacts?
Whitelisting adds contacts to your whitelist, address book, or approved senders list. This helps ensure their emails aren’t mistaken for spam. When you have a new contact, stop and add their email address to your address book. You can’t complain about not receiving emails without making this effort. Don’t whitelist and complain; you’ll be viewed as rude.

It’s Easy Not to Be Viewed as Rude

It is straightforward to avoid being perceived as rude by showing courtesy to those you communicate with. Often, folks think only of themselves and what they want to do at any given moment, regardless of how it will be perceived or how it will affect the person on the other side.

Good manners never go out of style, and this applies to email etiquette.