Are Condolence Emails Acceptable?
Recently, I was asked if sending a condolence email is acceptable. As with most things, it depends on the circumstances.
Condolence emails should be the last resort, and only if you have a virtual relationship. With virtual connections, you generally don’t know the other person’s physical address to send them a formal card.
Based on that response, I was asked for the best wording for a condolence email. Taking into consideration that most folks are “not good with words.”
The relationship at hand will tend to determine which words you would be comfortable using. The closer you are, the more personal your phrasing will be.
Condolences shouldn’t be templated or copied and pasted.
When offering sincere condolences, do your best not to default to email for such important communication. Sending a formal condolence card is always best. Email is not meant to replace every single form of communication, after all.
Losing a loved one is one of those times when those who want to show they care do so genuinely, taking the time to choose, sign, handwrite the envelope, and purchase a stamp. That’s the least one can do.
Making this effort reflects your heartfelt condolences, as you went the extra mile. You meant it because you took the extra time and expense to reflect that sincerity. Receiving your card by snail mail, with your signature, will give more comfort and solace than any email ever could.
Condolence Email Examples for Virtual Contacts
Virtual contacts are the folks that you’ve never met in person, may not even know where they live, and have no reason to have their address. (That said, a nice card via snail mail will always be appreciated more.)
Simple and Classic
Subject: My deepest sympathies
Dear [Name],
I was so sorry to hear about [Name/“your loved one”]. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts during this difficult time.
With heartfelt sympathy, [Your Name]
Warm and Personal
Subject: Thinking of you
Dear [Name],
I just heard the news about [Name], and my heart aches for you. I’m keeping you close in my thoughts and sending you all my love and strength.
With deepest sympathy, [Your Name]
Brief but Gentle
Subject: My condolences
Dear [Name],
I’m truly sorry for your loss. May you find comfort in the love and beautiful memories you shared.
Thinking of you, [Your Name]
Colleague / Professional Tone
Subject: My sincere condolences
Dear [Name],
I was deeply saddened to learn of your loss. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy—please don’t hesitate to let me know if there’s anything I can do.
With kindest regards, [Your Name]
Very Short & from the Heart
Subject: I’m so sorry
Dear [Name],
I’m heartbroken to hear about [Name]. Holding you in my heart right now.
Love, [Your Name]
Sincerity is Reflected in Actions
Don’t know the person’s physical address? Do a search based on the information you do have. You’ll probably be able to find their address so you can send them a real card.
If you are not good with words, an old-fashioned condolence card can do that for you. Find a card that aligns with your feelings and sign it. No additional comments are necessary.
Making these efforts will let the grieving party know that you sincerely offer your condolences. Much better than just popping off an email that takes little effort. At times like these, personal actions by those who care can make all the difference in the world.
