When Are Email Apologies Insincere?

November 10, 2008 by Judith

Funny how some folks apologize while they are doing the very thing they are apologizing for. Is an e-mail apology sincere if you are doing something you know could be a problem to start with but you’re doing it anyway — with your apologies?

Not in my book. To me that just smacks of “I’m going to do it anyway regardless because that’s what I want to do, but I’ll apologize just in case someone gets upset.” What’s up with that? It’s called thinking only of yourself — when in fact with email there are at least two parties involved.

When it comes to proper technology use, there seems to be a wide array of opinions on what is proper, correct or just a matter of courtesy. Many times folks take the issues of E-mail Etiquette and proper technology use and assume they can disregard these topics. That it’s a choice. Well, just like anything in life, it is a choice to use technology properly, to use technology with courtesy. What do you think it says about you to ignore proper use and courtesy because you make the conscious decision to do so.

What prompted this rant today was someone sending 150M of attachments while saying “I apologize if this fills up your inbox…”

They knew it could; did so anyway but apologized. So everything is O.K. right? Wrong! By acting in this matter this person actually told me they had no concern whatsoever about filling up my inbox and causing subsequent e-mail to bounce–because they did it anyway. Their apology was moot and insincere.

Just a word of advice if you do want apologies to be taken seriously. Don’t apologize while you proceed to do what you are apologizing for! Courtesy never goes out of style and cannot be perceived as being there even if you apologize as you reflect no concern for the person on the other side. You’ll look like the selfish person you are and your apology will fall on deaf ears.

There are guidelines and considerations online for a reason. My tag line of “Using technology effectively to communicate with knowledge, understanding and courtesy” stands for something. At least to me and the thousands of site visitors who let me know they feel the same way.

Apology not accepted.

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