What To Do About No Replies?

December 10, 2009 by Judith

A site visitor inquires about a topic we all may deal with during the upcoming Holiday season:

Love your site, Judith! How do you recommend that I deal with friends and family that I email and they don’t always respond? I always take the time to respond to those who email me. TIA!

Glad you like my site. ;-) Don’t take the fact that folks don’t reply to your e-mails too personally. Many are only thinking of themselves and the time they have at hand at that moment during the busy Holiday season. Very self-absorbed I know, but that seems to be the reason given most. “I just don’t have time!”

Just as you do, I try to respond to every e-mail that I receive. That said, what I’ve found is that many assume that a response is not warranted unless you ask a specific question.

Maybe in your next communication make a brief comment that you would like to confirm if they did get your last e-mail because you would like to hear back from them.

And to those who don’t have time — may I suggest you make the time to send a courtesy response to those who e-mail you? By not responding you make them feel ignored and if the shoe were on the other foot, you wouldn’t like it either!

We never should be too busy to take the time to type a few kind words in response to family and friends who contact us during the Holidays. Make the time, take the time and have a happier Holiday Season!

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Comments

2 Responses to “What To Do About No Replies?”

Rodney on December 11th, 2009 6:55 pm

Greetings Judith and all,
I to am constantly amazed, and insulted, that so many think it alright to ignore my e-mails until it suits them to reply – if ever. We all know a simple reply of acknowledgment is so quick and easy that it’s hard to understand why these people think it acceptable to ignore me this way, when they would never dream of being so insulting to my face. If I don’t have time for a reply at the initial reading I do always send a simple acknowledgment and a thankyou for their thought-provoking ideas which I want time to address properly.
As with all the excellent advice here, I fear only the ‘netiquette-aware’ will be reading. What to do about the others to get the message through that such insultingly offensiveness rudeness is no more acceptable online than it is offline?
I too have been abused when I’ve pointed out such matters to the perpetrators, even though I thought I was being gently in my admonition – perhaps their anger betrays a knowledge of their own guilt? Sometimes their true nature has revealed itself offline later, and I think back that I should have taken more notice of the advance warning; sometimes they are just different people online.
Judith on December 14th, 2009 5:32 pm

Hey, Rodney:

Great input and advice — as always! ;-)

I fear that those who do “get it” or want to “get it” are those who are here. It is those who see no harm in realizing we don’t know it all and always can learn something new from others that you’ll find commenting like yourself.

I’ve been typing about the topic now for 15 years and my posts are developed based on what I’ve seen, experienced first hand or have had site visitors e-mail me about. And one thing I’ve discovered is people are different by e-mail — whether they know it or not or do it intentionally or not. There is the safety of no eye contact or no face-to-face exposure that has many communicating differently than if they were in person.

Rodney, you’ve been around the longest and I know it isn’t because you don’t understand, or know what it is I am trying to accomplish. I can tell you too are passionate about E-mail Etiquette and have been a great support over the years. Your contributions have no doubt helped others learn — and for that I, and surely my site visitors, are grateful.

I do have the Recommend To a Friend feature at the top of every page to send certain pages or posts to those who can use the info. Even with that, if the will is not there to learn, if the desire is not present to realize we will always have more to learn. This site, you or I or any number of the people who feel as we do can’t change those who don’t want to embrace how “knowledge (about the technology one is using), courtesy (to realize e-mail isn’t all about you) and understanding (of how you choose to communicate can affect your message)” when it comes to their e-mail is so important.

I am surprised that after all these years, there is still so many concerned about and willing to learn about e-mail etiquette. Those who refuse to embrace these concepts are in the minority. So with that combined, there is my encouragement to keep on typing at this keyboard! ;-)