A site visitor inquires about a topic we all may deal with during the upcoming Holiday season:
Love your site, Judith! How do you recommend that I deal with friends and family that I email and they don’t always respond? I always take the time to respond to those who email me. TIA!
Glad you like my site. ;-) Don’t take the fact that folks don’t reply to your e-mails too personally. Many are only thinking of themselves and the time they have at hand at that moment during the busy Holiday season. Very self-absorbed I know, but that seems to be the reason given most. “I just don’t have time!”
Just as you do, I try to respond to every e-mail that I receive. That said, what I’ve found is that many assume that a response is not warranted unless you ask a specific question.
Maybe in your next communication make a brief comment that you would like to confirm if they did get your last e-mail because you would like to hear back from them.
And to those who don’t have time — may I suggest you make the time to send a courtesy response to those who e-mail you? By not responding you make them feel ignored and if the shoe were on the other foot, you wouldn’t like it either!
We never should be too busy to take the time to type a few kind words in response to family and friends who contact us during the Holidays. Make the time, take the time and have a happier Holiday Season!
No related posts.
About Judith
Loading ...![[Take The Email Etiquette Pledge]](http://www.emailetiquettepledge.com/ee-rev-medium.jpg)
![[Email Etiquette Made Easy!]](http://www.netmanners.com/images/email-etiquette-made-easy-100.jpg)
Greetings Judith and all,
I to am constantly amazed, and insulted, that so many think it alright to ignore my e-mails until it suits them to reply – if ever. We all know a simple reply of acknowledgment is so quick and easy that it’s hard to understand why these people think it acceptable to ignore me this way, when they would never dream of being so insulting to my face. If I don’t have time for a reply at the initial reading I do always send a simple acknowledgment and a thankyou for their thought-provoking ideas which I want time to address properly.
As with all the excellent advice here, I fear only the ‘netiquette-aware’ will be reading. What to do about the others to get the message through that such insultingly offensiveness rudeness is no more acceptable online than it is offline?
I too have been abused when I’ve pointed out such matters to the perpetrators, even though I thought I was being gently in my admonition – perhaps their anger betrays a knowledge of their own guilt? Sometimes their true nature has revealed itself offline later, and I think back that I should have taken more notice of the advance warning; sometimes they are just different people online.
Hey, Rodney:
Great input and advice — as always! ;-)
I fear that those who do “get it” or want to “get it” are those who are here. It is those who see no harm in realizing we don’t know it all and always can learn something new from others that you’ll find commenting like yourself.
I’ve been typing about the topic now for 15 years and my posts are developed based on what I’ve seen, experienced first hand or have had site visitors e-mail me about. And one thing I’ve discovered is people are different by e-mail — whether they know it or not or do it intentionally or not. There is the safety of no eye contact or no face-to-face exposure that has many communicating differently than if they were in person.
Rodney, you’ve been around the longest and I know it isn’t because you don’t understand, or know what it is I am trying to accomplish. I can tell you too are passionate about E-mail Etiquette and have been a great support over the years. Your contributions have no doubt helped others learn — and for that I, and surely my site visitors, are grateful.
I do have the Recommend To a Friend feature at the top of every page to send certain pages or posts to those who can use the info. Even with that, if the will is not there to learn, if the desire is not present to realize we will always have more to learn. This site, you or I or any number of the people who feel as we do can’t change those who don’t want to embrace how “knowledge (about the technology one is using), courtesy (to realize e-mail isn’t all about you) and understanding (of how you choose to communicate can affect your message)” when it comes to their e-mail is so important.
I am surprised that after all these years, there is still so many concerned about and willing to learn about e-mail etiquette. Those who refuse to embrace these concepts are in the minority. So with that combined, there is my encouragement to keep on typing at this keyboard! ;-)
Dear Judith,
I’m currently experiencing this situation and would greatly appreciate your advice. From time to time, my e-mails have been ignored by friends and I appreciate that people have busy lives. I’m sure I, too, must have taken a while to respond to a message at some point in my life, although I do make every effort to respond to all messages in a timely manner.
I’ve had a pen friend for about 7 years, with whom I’m now experiencing problems. We met online and instantly struck up a healthy e-mail friendship. At its height, we were sending each other at least one, sometimes two, e-mails every week. We’ve also met each other in person on several occasions and have also spoken on the telephone. Both of us were very courteous and would reply to each other within two or three days and if we were having problems replying due to other commitments, we would send each other a short note to explain and apologise for the delay.
Suddenly, before Christmas he met and started dating a new girlfriend. I quickly noticed that his emails were becoming more sparse, which is understandable. However, my last email to him was almost three weeks ago and I’ve yet to receive a proper reply. Fed up of waiting and wondering whether I was at fault, I sent him a short but polite note last week to ask if everything was OK. I got a message back telling me that he’s finding it hard find the time to write to me, but said he would email me in a “day or two”. I’m still waiting. What’s even more annoying is that I know his username on an internet message board and see him posting on there frequently on a daily basis. Is it really too much to ask for him to spend half an hour to e-mail me?
I fear that this situation is only going to continue and worsen, and I was wondering if you have any advice for me? If and when I do get a reply, should I reply as promptly as usual, or should I back off? Part of me wants to keep up the friendship because we have a lot in common, but I also don’t like being left dangling, not knowing when I’m going to hear from him. How long do you think I should wait in future before sending a follow-up message? Seeing him in person is not an option as we live 200 miles apart and because he works different shifts from day to day and week to week, getting hold of him on the phone can be problematic.
Many thanks for any advice you can offer.
Hey, Rob:
Thanks for stopping by! It is sucks when relationships change or evolve to where we are not in touch as much as we’ve grown used to. You think you are friends — and in fact you are — but times change and with that relationships change. And it isn’t uncommon when someone gets immersed with a new boyfriend or girlfriend, that becomes their world and the online world (and pretty much everything else) takes a back seat. Just life playing out so work at not taking this change personally. It most likely has nothing to do with you…
While I know this is disappointing for you — continue to be yourself. Be a friend when called upon and e-mail as you naturally would. Let him know how happy you are and maybe even suggest a trip where you meet half-way so you can meet the lucky lady! Be happy for your friend that he has found someone that makes him happy and be there if he needs you. Not all relationships last forever and you may find your friend will need a shoulder (or a best man) in the future. However it turns out, be there for him.
In the meantime, spend your time communicating with folks who do have time to keep up with you! ;-) HTH!