Email Etiquette Means You Don’t Assume

Several times each week someone sends me an e-mail where they are assuming something about me or one of my sites. Some of the assumptions are improperly accusatory while others are based on little to no knowledge in which to base the stated assumption.

Maybe it’s me; but I don’t assume things about topics I know nothing about. I don’t assume to know how my car works just because I drive one–I am not a mechanic. When I go to the Doctor with an ailment, I don’t assume what my treatment is–I let the person who is educated in the field, my Doctor, to ask the appropriate questions and then take the necessary steps to determine what the diagnosis is. Even then, I don’t tell him what to prescribe. I’m not a Doctor!

But when it comes to technology, there is no end to those who email Web sites who apparently believe they know what they are typing about enough to tell the site owner what to do about something, to fix this or that, or to scold them about improper practices when in fact the basis for their assumptions is not in any experience or actual knowledge of how technology works.

If I have a concern or I think something is “wrong” I email my questions in a genuinely courteous and curious manner. Not in an accusatory tone; not with the intent that I am trying to point out what the other side in my view doesn’t know or understand. I want to understand and find out what’s up. And I do so knowing I don’t know everything and may even learn something I wasn’t aware of.

Be very careful when emailing site owners making accusations or pointing out what you perceive to be “wrong”, “broken” or “not working.” First check your settings, clear your cache, reboot your computer, check with your ISP, check your firewall settings, check your spyware settings, check your spam filtering settings. And more importantly unless you have solid experience — check your perceptions at the door! What are you basing your accusation on? It had better be in actual experience and knowledge.

With technology there seems to be this perceived level of knowledge that exceeds the actual experience of many users on various topics. I see it all the time. A little experience adding up to a big fat chunk of finger pointing, via email where one doesn’t have to look the person they are sending their nasty email to in the eyes, that only reflects how much the “pointer” really doesn’t know. But that doesn’t stop them as they comfortably hide behind their screens.

In the end it is embarrassing for these folks. Luckily for them I go back in a courteous, factual and informative manner so that they can learn how their assumption indicated how much they really didn’t know while actually teaching them something on a topic they thought they knew all about. Unfortunately, not all site owners are as patient and if you think about it why should they have to be? Most simply choose to not respond to emails of this nature. It is for each site owner to determine if this is the proper approach for them.

The smarties send me an email of thanks for enlightening them. The others, well, they are probably off sending corrective emails to other site owners. Some folks have way too much time on their hands.

You may also be interested in:

• Web Site and E-mail Etiquette Tips
• How to Deal with Rude E-mailers
• Asking Before Looking