E-mail Tone is Critical!

December 16, 2009 by Judith

Today, I’ll start with a quote to make an important point that all too many do not consider:

Remember that the tone of your voice often conveys more accurately what is in your mind than do your words. ~ Napoleon Hill

There isn’t much Mr. Hill said that I don’t agree with. A very wise man was he!

When it comes to your e-mails you don’t have the tone of your voice — so those on the other side of the screen will read tone into your e-mail based on the efforts you make, the formatting you integrate and the words you choose to use.

Don’t for a moment think that tone is not something you not need be concerned with. Tone is an issue with each and every e-mail you send, every word you choose to bold, every word you omit or include.

I had several instances over the past week where e-mails sent to me were downright insulting in tone. How these e-mailers worded their requests or inquiries spoke volumes as to what their true intent was (and level of courtesy and professionalism). And intent is relayed in tone. They are intertwined.

If you are ever not sure of your tone, or if you are emotional or simply frustrated as you type an e-mail — step away from the computer and take a deep breath. Then upon your return, read your e-mail out loud and see if you would like someone to speak to you in that manner.

Because you are upset or frustrated does not give you cart blanch to send emotionally charged e-mails to those there to help you or that you are requesting assistance from. Tone many times is the difference between typing an extra few words of thanks or not over punctuating or formatting.

These online screens should never be an excuse to be boldly rude or to make demands or accusations you wouldn’t dare do in person. Use e-mail as the communication tool it is meant to be, not some way to flex your ego or narcissistic side of your personality because you can. Because when you do — it only reflects on you. And, that’s not a good thing…

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Comments

2 Responses to “E-mail Tone is Critical!”

Teresa on November 6th, 2007 5:10 pm

Dear Netiquette Guru,
I just had my first experience with someone misinterpreting the tone of an email. I was not upset while writing it, and was simply trying to get information. However, the reader inferred a derogatory tone where no such thoughts had crossed my mind. Are there guidelines or resources to help with this kind of situation? (I feel a bit blindsided after emailing for 20 years and never having this arise before.)
Concerned
Judith on November 6th, 2007 9:17 pm

Hey, Teresa!

Thanks for posting! ;-) I understand your concern… If there is any consolation, you could send the same e-mail to 5 different people and find they all may take it differently based on the relationship dynamics with each.

The best advice I can give is to make sure to use the word “please” often followed with a “thank you in advance” or “TIA” on requests. Also things like “hope you are having a nice day” combined with a pleasant sign off help to make requests more cordial.

When requesting anything from anyone, courtesy goes a long way to being perceived as worth one’s time to accommodate. So many just blurt out their requests without these little courtesies and do come off as terse or demanding unintentionally.

Also, sarcasm doesn’t lend to e-mail at all — so throw in a ;-) when joking or being sarcastic. Maybe check out my article on the 5 Essential Elements of Every E-mail

The bottom line is to type to others as you would like to be typed to knowing there is no eye contact, body language, smile or firm handshake to let the other side know you are sincere and courteous.

HTH!

At your service,
Judith
NetManners.com