Recommended E-mail Etiquette; Got Disowned

February 3, 2010 by Judith

A site visitor writes:

I think your site is very helpful; so helpful in fact that I sent my own
Mom to your site because her emails were coming across as very hostile in their appearance, although not in subject. Because of this, she decided to disown me – by virtue of an email nonetheless. Now what?

Yikes!!! That is overreacting a just a bit! That said, your Mom is not the first to react so dramatically when it was pointed out that they were doing something wrong online. In my experience no matter how gentle, how kind, how nice — many still react viscerally. Why is it so many are not open to constructive criticism or suggestions? Maybe some of my readers will pipe in with their thoughts on this.

Goodness sake, I’ve been doing this from the start – over 15 years now – and I still learn something new every single day I am at this keyboard. And, I make a couple mistakes each day too. Could you imagine if I got my underwear in a bundle every time I was wrong, or confronted with having to learn new things?

The only suggestion I have is for you to offer your “humble and sincere” apologies. Let her know the reason that you sent her to my site was pure in intent with no idea that she would react in this manner. Let her know it is because you care so very much about her and didn’t want her to be perceived negatively by those she communicates with online. Tell her that many of the issues covered on my site, if not followed could lead to folks to not wanting to communicate with her. And wouldn’t that be a shame?

Creating e-mails that reflect your intended tone is a skill that needs to be honed, thought about and practiced. By all of us; every day. Body language, tone of voice, eye contact are all missing. That is why, if you want to enjoy technology you have to make an effort to ensure your e-mails are courteous, clear and friendly.

That takes a willingness to learn and to be wrong on occasion so we can learn some more – happens to the best of us! ;-)

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