Why is it some folks feel the need to use profanity in their e-mails? There are other words one can use — so what’s with the swearing? I believe communicating in this way speaks volumes about the sender. Don’t you?
I see it in e-mails, on forums and even those who use my contact form here on this site. Who would have thought the topic of e-mail etiquette would get some so riled up!
If one lands here at my E-mail Etiquette site and they do not agree with the concept of using technology properly or communicating with courtesy, why would they then feel the need to defame this Web site and myself with four-letter cuss words? What’s the point? Actually folks who do this pretty much reinforce the need for a site like this, right?
Does this approach make these type of onliners feel better about themselves or about not practicing E-mail Etiquette by “killing the messenger?”
I’m not sure. But what I can tell you is these folks are the minority. I get e-mails daily from far more nice, thoughtful and courteous Netizens!
If you disagree with the opinions or writings of others, you are welcome to let them know — that is part and parcel of being online — comments, feedback, forums, contact forms. But why not communicate based on the issues while having a constructive conversation where ideas and points of view get shared?
When I receive these e-mail, I always shake my head and wonder what it going on in the head of the sender where they felt the need to communicate in that way. To actually type those words. I wonder how they communicate in the rest of their life and what is behind their negative and many times destructive way of communicating. I don’t take their attacks personally, as I know they are unhappy and lonely folks to feel the need to take the time to send an e-mail with that type of verbiage.
If you are online, you will run into these types. I think by hiding behind these screens and name calling the moment they run into a different opinion in some way emboldens them. It becomes clear their point of view is not valid if this is the only way they can communicate their opinions.
When you run into this type of onliner, you have with the opportunity to set an example. If you do feel the need to respond, and keep in mind many times there is no such need – treat them with the level of courtesy they were unable to offer you.
Have you received nasty e-mails that have profanity in them? How did you handle that situation?
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Hello Judith. This is yet another example of the warning we get from a person’s e-mail about their ‘real’ life offline. In everyday conversation, if people use swearing as part of their normal speech, not to display emotion, I think it shows they have a problematic personality disorder; perhaps wanting to appear ‘one of the boys’. It also shows their poor vocabulary I think. I extend the same observation to e-mail.
A very prevalent example here in Australia is the use of “shit-load” to convey the meaning of ‘a lot’, where the real terminology is “shed-load”, which to me conveys the impression of ‘a lot’ far better; makes them appear to be trying to fit in, and makes me wonder why they think they need to appear so. I inwardly shudder at such misuse of language. Doesn’t matter if by e-mail or otherwise; it conveys what the person is really like.
Hey, Rodney:
Good to hear from you! I agree there is always another way to say a certain thing than to resort to profanity. Heck, our languages are filled with all kinds of adjectives one could choose from in lieu of cuss words. I think that folks who communicate in this manner are starving for attention or just want to attain that shock value. Sort of sad…
Using profanity in e-mails is completely unnecessary. When you feel so strongly about a subject that you want to discuss with another person you should have this conversation in person. Profanity brings an entirely uncomfortable mood to an e-mail exchange that does not need to be there. Even if someone is using profanity to joke around, or be sarcastic it can be difficult to understand that through text. So, I would strongly advise everyone to keep there profanity with in their own mind, and don’t cause an awkward situation for another.
Hey, Hannah:
I believe those that resort to profanity do so out of emotion. Which, as I discuss on this site quite often, is never the right frame of mind to respond to e-mails in.
Maybe if one were to step back, cool off and think about responding the next day — there wouldn’t be the reaction to include profanity.
Hi Judith and Rodney,
I agree with what both of you are saying, and I feel some people just have no manners. They feel like if they swear in a conversation its okay to swear in an email because they obviously do not have any knowledge on email etiquette. They shouldn’t even be swearing in general anyhow, its not proper.
Hey, Kiana:
Perception is very powerful and shouldn’t be underestimated! I doubt there is an example out there where using profanity was the proper thing to do or contributed to a constructive communication in a positive way.
Judith,
I couldn’t agree with you more on this topic. I think it is not only rude, but also i think it shows a lack of intelligence when a person swears online. Personally i don’t have a problem with some swear words being used in normal face to face conversation. People when sending emails should take more caution in selecting the words that they choose to send over an email. You never know how the person on the other end of the email will react to the poor language. I think when people use swear words in an email it gives them a sense of power, and also it makes them feel better about them self. Swearing should not be used, there are other word alternatives that can be used instead.
Hey, Randy:
Thanks for sharing your comments! To me, when one resorts to cuss words, that simply indicates a lack of communication skills and that your point/idea/perspective is not one that can stand on its own.
Hi Judith. I personally have never received an email that uses profanity. However, I don’t voice my opinion on the internet very often so I’m sure that explains why i haven’t. I do agree with you though, they don’t know how to communicate with some who has a different opinion than theirs. It shows a lack of class on their part. Especially because you have the time to think of what you want to say on the internet, and when they use foul language it shows how little their vocabulary is and how little thought they put into their response.
Hey, Sabrina:
I too think that when cuss words are used, the person communicating in that manner is not taking the time to clearly and succinctly make their point or relay their emotions in such a way that they can be taken seriously.
How nice that you’ve not had to deal with a situation like that! ;-) Thanks for stopping by and sharing!
Hello Judith,
I could not agree more with there being “no place for profanity in emails.” The way i have been brought up is that when you have an individual that uses swear words for no reason, it shows a lack of intelligence and respect for themselves and others around them. I can understand the occasional swear word in a face to face conversation that slips out, but while online, there is no excuse for it. If an individual wants to stress their anger, there are many other words that can be used in place for cuss words!
Hey, Brandon:
I tend to agree with two things everyone brings up — educated and respectful communicators do not use cuss words! Actually, in over 15 years of e-mailing, I’ve never typed a cuss word or name called in an e-mail. If something got me that upset, I either picked up the phone to talk to the person directly or I didn’t respond at all.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing!
Hello all,
I think you all had very strong points and i agree with all of you. Profanity in an e-mail and curse words shows no respect to the recipient. Even if you are angry you should argue in a respective manner and not have to use curse words online. It has no significance to the argument or point your trying to make. Profanity makes you yourself look like fool. I agree with what Judith says in that using cuss words shows a lack of communication skills and respect.
Hey, Collin:
Thanks for stopping by and sharing! You are 100% correct — this is a respect issue!
Hello Judith and Rodney,
I agree that the use of profanity online is not the right thing to do. Furthermore, I feel that the use of profanity in general is just one of many characteristics of a highly uneducated person. The internet is a way of communication in which you should follow a proper standard of etiquette. It is not a technological playground where it is “Okay” to show raw emotion. It is completely fine to have a strong opinion on something, just make sure to get your point across in the right manner.
Hey, Adam:
Couldn’t have said that better myself! I get that sometimes folks will be upset — but that is precisely the time that you step back, turn the computer off and *not* reply. We have a wonderful language filled with adjectives to get your point across in a civil manner — we should all work on growing our vocabulary instead of resorting to cuss words (which as I stated earlier then proves you really don’t have much of a point to get across).
I think that no matter what the issue is even if its a bad one no one should use any form or prfanity. That also would include even the little put downs that people say. Also even if the other person using profanity to address you dont use it back kill them with kindness sometimes people dont know how to react to that and it ends up just ending it right there.
Hey, Derek:
You make a good point about how words can hurt and they don’t have to be cuss words. If you wouldn’t say something to someone’s face — then don’t type it in an email!
using profanity in e-mail is not fly at all! the recipient of your foul languange laced e-mail can use the IP address in your e-mail to trace your physical address and have you arrested!
Hey, Tom:
Seems everyone agrees — there is no good reason or appropriate circumstance to use profanity. But, sadly, there will always be those who relish in feeling emboldened hiding behind these screens. The thing is, clearly, everyone does seem to see them for what they are — being a bully and lacking in courtesy and communications skills!
Hi Judith,
What a fantastic website you have here. Glad I discovered it (by following your site mention at elegantthemes.com blog) and will definitely be recommending netmanners.com to others.
I just wanted to add that I also dislike seeing profanity in people’s sales letters! It’s like they think we all are lumped into some kind of a low-class, low-IQ group that actually appreciates being talked down to. NOT!
Rarely, I admit that I do inject a swearword in my own emails once in awhile (only to family or close friends who don’t mind) but I use something like a partial spelling of the word with an asterisk in it — so as to not totally spell it out. That softens it a little… but I still agree with you all that it’s not ever necessary to do it.
So, more often than not, I try to find an intelligent, more apt substitute since there ARE so many, many adjectives in the English language, there’s really no excuse to ever use profanity. It’s just laziness personified. :)
Again, thanks for your *very* informative site.
Warm regards,
Donna
Hey, Donna:
Thank you for stopping by! It’s is nice to meet another like mind! ;-)
There is a wonderful site, Thesaurus.com, that I use frequently to discover new words and expand my vocabulary.
Appreciate your input and kind words — you’ve made my day!
Take care ~
Judith
people who use profanity in e-mails are raised in an uncivilized society and are most likely uneducated unrefined people
Hello, Tom:
Well, your comments confirm how those who feel the need to communicate in that manner are perceived. I receive e-mails on a regular basis stating that *not* to be the case and that I am just being a prude. I guess I’ll just leave everyone to their own perceptions. And if you communicate with profanity, chances are these perceptions will be at play.
Thanks for stopping by!
The FCC prohibits use of profanity in publications and broadcasts. Are there any laws that can be used to keep an individual from calling another that which would be considered profane? I am not a prude, but have seen harm done to others when reffered to by racial or sexual terms. Some words can have a legitimate meaning, but when used in a context of profanity, can be hurtful. I am not actually sure of what the difference between vulgarity and profanity is, but wish I had a way of combatting them.
Hello,
The FCC controls public airways and broadcasts that they specifically license. Those regulations do not apply to private networks, Web sites or providers.
Unfortunately, there is not much one can do other than report the offender to their ISP or the site that such communications were posted on. Most ISPs and providers do not want that type of stuff on their system and depending on the magnitude will consider cancelling the account or prohibiting further access. Check their provider’s Terms of Service for more info and direction on how to lodge a complaint. If the e-mails are threatening in any way, you can contact local law enforcement.
While I understand how such verbiage can be hurtful, those who stoop to communicate in that manner don’t make their case, rather they show they are immature and weak minded.