No Nothing E-mails

October 1, 2009 by Judith

Today I received an e-mail from one of my less amiable contacts. I am typing about this today to use this as a perfect example of how e-mail is a relationship building tool. A tool that can be misused and underestimated in it’s power in regard to how you will be perceived.

Not just in business relationships, but personal relationships too!

This particular person has always been demanding, insulting and in some cases presumptuously rude. So, add that established tone based on past phone and e-mail conversations, when you get an e-mail like the one I received to day, it does nothing to improve the situation. Rather it solidifies the already negative attitude that I have that causes me to groan when I see their name in my inbox.

With this particular message today, there was nothing in the message — only an attachment that was a Word doc that had nothing in it other than an embedded graphic. No Hi or Hello. No explanation of what they wanted me to do — I was to assume the attachment spoke for itself.

Nor did they feel the need to include a “can you check this out and explain or advise?” No thank you in advance — no nothing. Because all the e-mail included was an attachment, it was identified as spam by my filters and blocked by my spam filters — which means it remained on my server until I have time to go to Webmail, login and review. Only spammers send no nothing e-mails!

This is why I always recommend you review the e-mails in your Trash/Junk before deleting. E-mails get sent there erroneously all the time due to those who see no need to take the time to communicate with clarity and courtesy.

When you send e-mails in this manner, busy folks like me who only have the luxury of reviewing e-mail blocked as spam when they have time — sometimes may not do that for a day or two.

The approach this contact continually uses comes off as demanding and terse. There is nothing else to indicate otherwise. That’s where taking the time to include all the little courtesies I type about in my E-mail Etiquette 101 come into play.

And, if the e-mail had included all those little things this person didn’t want to take the time to include, I probably would have already replied. Instead, since I just found it up on my server, it goes into my “To Do” folder behind those who do include all those little things this person finds unnecessary.

Even when sending personal e-mails, especially to new acquaintances and contacts you make on Facebook, Twitter or the like, the little courtesies I talk about in my E-mail Etiquette 101 will go a long way to encouraging those new acquaintances to want to become your friend.

[ For more on Business E-mail Etiquette, visit my Business E-mail Etiquette Blog ]

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Comments

4 Responses to “No Nothing E-mails”

Barbara Cooper on October 1st, 2009 9:38 pm

Hi Judith,
If I had someone so rude sending me email, I’d 1) point out his rudness and 2) if he doesn’t improve I’d put him on my “blocked” list!

Life’s too short to baby-sit these people.
Barbara,
Judith on October 2nd, 2009 10:23 am

Hey, Barbara:

Thanks for stopping by! I agree and point out their tone in professionally stern tone. When I take on a new client, they are sent to this site so they can learn about the e-mail issues necessary to their success. Those who ignore this information and continue to type to me in a terse, bossy or rude manner, do get reminded about these issues.

The odd things is, and this goes right to the point of perception that so many underestimate, there are those clients that are sweethearts on the phone but come off as the opposite in e-mail. I point that out to them and the majority continue on as if Business E-mail Etiquette is a “Judith thing” that can be disregarded — at their own peril.

Being I am an Online Business Coach, I do my best to get them to see the light so there is a certain amount of baby-sitting in place — initially. Can’t put clients on a blocked list — but certainly have done so with other contacts and associates throughout the years! ;-) With that said, when no improvement or efforts are made in these areas after numerous mentions and references, I will have a phone conversation with them suggesting they find another consultant to partner with.

If they don’t want to listen or embrace the guidance and suggestions that I offer, which I assume is why they choose to work with me in the first place, I prefer to not work with those who continue to ignore my advice and recommendations.
Len on October 10th, 2009 9:14 am

I get (got) these all the time from family. All I got was forwards and copied content. Never was there a personal note such as “Hi How are you doing? I thought this might brighten your day” or “we went and saw the movie, xyz, and I think you’d enjoy it too.” Nobody took the time to this little, and nobody took the time to write their own personal descriptions of movies or recipes or anything. Most of the email I got was religious in nature or political in nature. After awhile, this got beyond disappointing, so I responded with, “why no personal note? Good ettiquette consists of …….”. This generated no change. I kept getting junk mail. Finally angry about it, I replied to these “Listen. I’m going to make email rules that sends all email with FWD in the subject line and emails that have multiple recipients directly to my delete folder.” This too failed to achieve anything. Finally, I wrote to each person individually, “I’m not accepting spam. Anything that does not have a personal note in it will not be responded to, and most likely, will not even be read”. This finally stopped the spam. Now I get no communications at all.

Fine! If family and ‘friends’ don’t have enough time for ettiquette and thoughtfulness, then I dont’ want to hear from them. I am now lonely (was before, even with the spam), but I’m not frustrated with ill mannered people any longer.

I’ve come to realise that some people just don’t get it, and some people never will.

So tell your ‘friends’ that you don’t want this kind of email and give ‘em a chance. Then give ‘em a second chance, and even a third. But if they don’t come around, don’t be disappointed.

“One who walks alone, walks more closely with God” — Dosteyesvsky.

Take comfort in this, and realize that fools have plenty of company so they don’t need yours, and it’s better to walk alone than walk with fools.
Judith on October 10th, 2009 10:55 am

Hey, Len:

Thanks for stopping by! I get your frustration as will many who feel the same as you. This is one of the topics I get e-mailed about most. Unfortunately, those who are guilty of improper and impersonal forwarding are not the folks who visit my site.

One simple guideline, if everyone followed it, would solve this issue — when forwarding e-mails of any kind if you can’t type a personal note to the person you are forwarding to, don’t bother forwarding at all.