No E-mail Etiquette; No Response!

Who Needs E-mail Etiquette? Each and every person who is online using technology — that’s who!

E-mail Etiquette is simply a set of guidelines that help you to:

Use technology properly so you don’t look as though you are fish out of water and so that you are taken seriously. Don’t make these efforts and you will be perceived as uneducated, lazy and inconsiderate.

Understand that regardless of how you run your life — e-mail is not all about you and what you are willing to do or not when using it. By having that attitude you show no concern for the person on the other side. Which is downright rude. You need to think about how your e-mail activities and efforts (or lack thereof) will impact those you communicate with.

Communicate with clarity and courtesy so that you are a pleasure to communicate with so folks don’t cringe when they see your name in their inbox! And, believe me — they do cringe!

There are still a great many online who by virtue of their e-mail activities, are perceived as though they didn’t make it out of grade school. Their e-mails are demanding and terse because they refuse to integrate simple courtesies that only take a moment to include. Mention this to them and all you get is more of the same.

It amazes me in this day and time how resistant people are to acquiring new knowledge and skills. Not to mention almost a visceral reaction to the thought of integrating courtesy into their e-mails. What a shame…

Unfortunately, on a daily basis I have folks e-mail me for assistance who don’t bother to type in full sentences or spell check. No greetings, no “thank you in advance” for your help, no concern as to whether their e-mail is even coherent. They blurt out their questions in all lower case thereby making a demand of my time and expertise.

I had a site visitor e-mail me just this week with this same dilemma stating she would no longer respond to coworkers who e-mailed her in just this way. I don’t blame her. However, on the job you cannot ignore coworkers — lead by example and show them how to e-mail properly knowing you are doing the right thing.

The fact there are folks who feel courtesy is not important in their e-mails speaks volumes as to their character and what kind of person they are. Nice people take the time, make the time, to be courteous.

For me however, the situation is different as I am here offering a courtesy service. No one pays me to take the time to answer each site inquiry personally. I run a healthy and busy WordPress Consulting practice that requires my full attention. Taking time away from that to answer inquires from folks who think that e-mail etiquette doesn’t apply to them is no longer something I can take the time to accommodate.

If you are going to e-mail an E-mail Etiquette site — you need to be on your best behavior. If you send me an e-mail that looks like it is written by someone who doesn’t care, who looks lazy and uneducated, up until now, I would answer the questions posed as well as kindly offer E-mail Etiquette suggestions in that regard with my reply. What was I thinking!?

Not serious about E-mail Etiquette? Then, don’t e-mail me like a second grader in a manner that is downright rude and insulting then expect me to take time away from those who e-mail me with courtesy and a genuine concern to learn and do things right.

I am no longer answering every e-mail that comes through my site asking for help. Those who do so in a manner that disregards everything that I try to help people learn about — don’t want to learn. Otherwise they would have minimally read my E-mail Etiquette 101 before e-mailing me.

From now on typo ridden, no sentence structure, grammar neglecting and non-courteous e-mails will not be receiving a response from me.

No related posts.

Comments

Larry says:

August 21, 2007 at 11:23 am

Hello,

How would I handle a situation where I have sent an email requesting specific information and a week has gone by with no response? This is not a business relationship but a personal one. I still need this information because it is pertaining to dates for a trip, however I’m not sure if I should email again or just cut this person out of the trip. Thank you.

Judith says:

August 21, 2007 at 3:11 pm

Hey, Larry:

Thanks for stopping by! What I do in that type of situation is to open your original message and click forward. Put the same recipient’s e-mail address in the To: field. Then type: FOLLOW UP: before the original Subject:.

In the body of the message type a simple note:

Hello,

Just checking to make sure you received my e-mail so I can plan accordingly for our trip. Hope all is well!

Thanks!
Larry

That hopefully will get their attention and you a response.

HTH!

At your service,
Judith
NetManners.com

Rodney says:

July 29, 2009 at 1:52 am

Thankyou Judith for yet another great insight in your point 2 above. It made me realise that the first two people I thought of who express no interest in netiquette do indeed run their (offline) lives that way: everything is about them!
Until your wisdom I hadn’t even put their disregard for netiquette into the rest of their lives.
Of course it all makes sense now; it just took your words for me to see it.

Thankyou Judith!

- Judith says:
  
  July 29, 2009 at 1:47 pm
  
  Hey, Rodney:
  
  Thanks for your comments! What can I say? Great minds think alike! ;-)
  
  It is too bad we live in such a narcissistic culture where we no longer think about how our actions or words can hurt or inconvenience others. Let alone not seeming to care how one is perceived and that, IMNSHO, is a very dangerous combination.
  
  Take care ~
  Judith
  
Danny says:

October 21, 2009 at 2:59 pm

Ok. I am not sure how to ask this question but here goes. I’ve always forwarded e-mails using the bcc. However the first line always was this address aaaa.aaa@aaa this way no one would see the other e-mail addresses. Now for some reason that addy has disappeared from my mailing list and i can not restore it. So how do i go about it now. I hate recieving e-mails and seeing everyones addy . I try the one tip about deleteing but its not working. Can you help ? Hope you understand what i am asking. Also I always download a pic are a video to my desk top and send it as new mail. Thank You.

- Judith says:
  
  October 22, 2009 at 5:29 pm
  
  Hey, Danny:
  
  Thanks for stopping by! I think I understand what you mean… Why don’t you just put your e-mail address as the very first listed? That way you get a copy so you know that everyone else did to while shielding all the other addresses. So put your email address in the To: field and everyone else in the BCC.
  
  As far as pics and videos you just have to be sure of the file size. Some can be way too big to send by e-mail or to send to someone without notice. So whenever you sent photos or videos attached to any e-mail always ask the other side first when would be a good time to send so they are there waiting to download and keep their inbox clear.
  
  Does this help? If not let me know! ;-)
  
Craig says:

February 5, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Hello, Judith.
Thank you for this exellent post.

I am having a difficult time understanding the lack of common courtesy so many people show in e-mail; it seems similar to how poeple behave when they get behind the wheel, as though no one will notice their self centered behavior. It has become more of a rare thing to find people who take the time to simply communicate with consideration and care for others. On the other hand, those who will not bother to share common courtesy are a dime a dozen…….they are a sad and pathetic scourge to on-line communication and to the world.

- Judith says:
  
  February 8, 2011 at 5:30 pm
  
  Hey, Craig:
  
  Folks are emboldened when hiding behind these screens. With IM they just type things off without care or thought as to how they will be perceived — and from the hate mail (and death threats) I get for championing E-mail Etiquette, these folks don’t care how they are perceived. They’ve told me as much!
  
  I agree with your definition of those who e-mail in this manner — I mean, how much effort does a little courtesy and clarity take? I have always lead by example and offer courtesy where sometimes none is given. But I can tell you that how folks e-mail me does help me determine if I want to do business with them — or not. The fact is perceptions matter — one can decide to ignore that fact and do what they please anyway to no avail.
  
  I look forward to more of your comments! ;-)