What is the rule for how fast you should be responding to e-mails?
The short answer: As soon as you can.
The long answer: It is obvious that some e-mails will be more important to you than others. It also is clear that we only have so much time in a day and there will be days where you will be unable to reply to any e-mails at all. So, you do the best you can to reply to everyone as soon as you can.
Onliners look at e-mail as an instantaneous medium. They know that their e-mail is in your inbox waiting to be downloaded or ready for you to read usually within minutes to hours of clicking Send.
If you are so busy that you cannot respond at all (you’re there but not “away” to require an away message be in place), you are in fact deciding to ignore the Sender — even if for the time being — and that’s exactly what they will assume. You’ve made a decision that their e-mail is not important to you or you would have responded.
There really is no gray area here. Perception is alive and well in regard to how quickly you respond to those who take the time to e-mail you. Of course, this does not include spam or irresponsible forwarders.
That is why it is so important to have a informative away message in place if you are not available at all. Senders will then understand if they don’t receive a prompt reply from you. And don’t use these messages to let everyone know how busy you are and that maybe, you might, if you have time, get back to them when it suits you — at your convenience. That’s just narcissistic and rude.
If you are simply swamped or have other responsibilities that keep you from responding in detail, a short message stating your situation and that you will respond in detail as soon as you can is highly recommended.
Remember, e-mail isn’t just about you, how busy you are or what you feel is important to you at that point in time. There is another human being involved (the Sender) on the other side of your screen who e-mailed you for a reason and is expecting your prompt response.
Showing the courtesy to keep those you communicate with informed as to your status can ensure you are a person that is looked at as a pleasure to communicate with — and avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings in the process.
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Judith, very pleasing to see your direct honesty in telling people they’re actually ignoring those people they choose not to reply to! Of course they are! Should be more plain speaking like this instead of worrying about causing offence by telling it like it is and the perception it brings.
A brief acknowledgment takes so little time, yet creates a perception the person’s communication is valued.
Thankyou Judith.
Thanks, Rodney!
Those who ignore very quickly find they don’t like being on the other end of that deal when those they ignore move on!
thank you for your article and this website. I’ve been so hurt the last few ayas by a local friend (guy)- at least someone who I felt was a friend. Someone w/whom I’ve talked,etc and sort of had developed more recent interest. We’ve exchanged several emails, we’ve talked in person. As I’m shy, the last several times I’ve seen him I have not been able to talk to him. (I don’t like interrupting when he is talking w/someone else, and I’ve only seen him at large social gatherings).
Which brings me to this column. Last week he emailed me and asked for some thoughts about a family mattter of his. My professional training is in an area very related to his concern, and I sent him two emails. One contained several informative links about the concern. The other email was a lengthy (email faux paus, I know). My response in attempting to help him gave quite a few ideas to help. In my email I did express concern for the situation and did mention that the email response was comprehensive due to the nature of the concern and my not knowing much about it.
So now it is over a week later, not a single reply from him, no thank you,etc. I am not a person that expects a huge “thank-you”. Even if this person doesn’t care for me as I’d hoped, I would have hoped I could have been treated as a bit of a human being in giving some degree of thanks. Oh well!
It hurts to be treated that way. Yes maybe he is busy or had a family emergency,etc. As I’ve sent him links before, I don’t think my email ended up in spam. I wish I had the courage to send him a link to your website or to at least tell him this ignoring me hurt and to wish him well in dealing w/the matter in which he wanted help.
Sorry to be so long, kudos to the power of the anonymous vent!
Michelle:
I’m so sorry to hear about this situation… Although your feelings are hurt, and I understand why — his lack of response could be benign and nothing personal. Especially if the “family matter” he asked your help with is what is dominating his life right now.
I get e-mails such as yours *all the time*. Senders who feel ignored and feelings are hurt. That’s is why I stress to please respond to those who e-mail you so that they don’t make assumptions that are not there — they will assume they are being ignored.
You could e-mail him, ask how the situation is noting that you are concerned about not hearing from him and wanted to ensure he is O.K. I always recommend that approach before taking the final stance that you are being ignored. If you don’t receive a response to that follow up — well, then I would take a hint and move on. But more times than not you will get a pleasant surprise of a response confirming the person was just wrapped up in their own little world.
I hope this turns out to not be what you think. If it is, then spend your time communicating with those who show you the courtesy of a simple “thank you” when you are asked for your help and unselfishly provide it.
thanks for your insights in this, good advice for me to follow-up on this.
Hi Judith,
I completely agree with you on this issue. Everyone should attempt to get back to the sender of the e-mail as soon as possible. If you know for sure that you will not be able to reply, put up an away message or even try to contact them by use of cellular phone to let them know you are currently busy. If you do not find a way to let the sender know you are unavailable, they will most likely assume that your ignoring them. In conclusion, to avoid any miscommunication make sure you reply as soon as possible or use the proper tools to let them know you are currently unavailable. This will make life much easier.
Hey, Adam!
Great minds think alike — what you advise is simple courtesy and common sense, right? Folks will assume they are being ignored if you do not make them aware of your status. I get handfuls of e-mails every day from folks stating just that! Thanks for the comments!
Hey judith,
Also adding to Adems if you do get back to them a little late you could also explain, in a short manner, that you were busy and that you are sorry for the wait in the responce. If its going to be longer then I agruee with what Adems saying about the away messege or contact via phone.
Hey, Derek:
A acknowledging a delayed response is always a nice thing to do because it shows you understand how the other side may feel about your lack of response. It is that approach that helps to build and foster long term relationships.
Personally, I don’t like or use away messages. They are too generic and take no effort to get in place. If I am unavailable for an extended time, I send an e-mail to those I am concerned would need to know about it. Again, taking a personal approach is always the way to go!