E-mail “Gunfights”

Gunfights usually end when there is only one person left standing. Unfortunately, it seems this also applies to e-mail gunfights. You know what I am talking about. E-mail differences of opinion or misunderstandings lead to ongoing back-and-forths that escalate in emotion and nastiness each time the Reply button is hit.

Much of this type of interaction has to do with the personalities involved. I’ve found the negative traits of having to always be right or get in the last word tend to prevail in the bloodiest of gunfights. Who hasn’t found themselves involved in an e-mail gunfight where it seems as though common sense or courtesy will not prevail?

When you find yourself in the beginnings of a gunfight — wait until the next day to reply — if at all. Hopefully you are not one of those with a narcissistic personality that commands you make your point and be the one with the last word. There is nothing to gain with that approach.

If I find myself communicating with such personalities, I “kill” them with kindness. If the gunslinger on the other side just has to come back with more vitriol or nonsense to simply get in the last word, I let them. I don’t have the need to get in the last word simply for the sake of doing so. My ego is not wrapped up in proving I am right to those without an open mind nor do I have the innate need to get in the last word so that I have some sort of feeling of accomplishment.

When you find yourself in a gun fight with a “last worder”, always take the higher ground and realize there are good guys and bad guys in every gunfight. Choose to be the guy wearing the white hat.

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