Email Bullies

A site visitor writes:

Could you please evaluate this message. The person that sends this states it means nothing to have the ???, !!! and cap letters, but he continues to do it.

John:
Please send the updated spreadsheet for this project????????
Send this document – NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It means nothing? The first sentence doesn’t even warrant one question mark let alone multiple instances. This appears to either be a very frustrated or extremely bossy person. If having multiple exclamation points or questions marks “means nothing”, then why he is communicating in this manner? The fact is doing so does reflect tone — that of one making a strong demand! And he is certainly doing that.

There are many folks who refuse to realize the power of their written words, the corresponding punctuation and the ramifications of how they choose to use them. This certainly does not mean that the perceptions they are presenting, or the emotions they are insinuating are not there. They are!

Your associate is either showing their lack of online savvy or they know exactly how they are being perceived and do not have the nerve to admit it when confronted. By typing in caps, and by using !!!! or ??? he is typing to you with an overly aggressive and condescending tone. He comes off as a bully and not very professional. If that is what he meant, fine. If not, basic punctuation would have sufficed.

Using multiple exclamation points or question marks is covered on this site in Email Etiquette 101, Courtesy #3.

Typing in all caps is also covered, Courtesy #1, item one.

Although I reference only 2 of the 10 Courtesies above, it is recommended one start from the beginning and go through them all to have a complete understanding of how your actions, or lack thereof, can effect how they will be perceived online.

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