Disowning Over E-mail Etiquette?

A site visitor writes:

I think your site is very helpful; so helpful in fact that I sent my own Mom to your site because all of her emails were coming across as very hostile in their appearance, although not in subject. Although your site is in excellent taste and I was extremely well meaning, because of it, she decided to disown me – by virtue of an email nonetheless. Now what?

Yikes!!! That is overreacting a just a bit! That being said, your Mother is not the first to react so dramatically when it was pointed out that they were doing something wrong online. Why is it folks react almost viscerally when they find they still need to learn a thing or two? If you know, clue me in!

Goodness sake, I’ve been doing this from the start – 15 years now – and I still learn something new every single day I am at this keyboard. Could you imagine if I got my underwear in a bundle every time I was wrong, or confronted with having to learn new things?

The only suggestion I have is for you to offer your “humble and sincere” apologies. Let her know that sending her to my site was pure in intent with no idea that she would react in this manner.

Tell her that many of the issues covered on my site, if not followed could lead to folks not wanting to communicate with her. And it is because you care so very much about her that you didn’t want her to be perceived negatively by those she communicates with online.

Writing e-mail is a skill that needs to be honed, thought about and practiced. Body language, tone of voice, eye contact are all missing. That is why, if one wants to participate in this medium they need to make an effort to ensure their e-mails offer clarity and the proper intent.

That takes an open mind, willingness to learn and willingness to be wrong on occasion – happens to the best of us!

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About Judith

NetManners.com is a community service project by WordPress Consultant, Judith Kallos over @ TheIStudio.com. You can succeed online with "knowledge, understanding and courtesy"!

Comments

  1. Ana Garcia says:

    Can someone guide me to section of etiquette 101 about when to use the urgent key. We have a co-worker that overuses the urgent key. It is really annoying.

  2. Judith says:

    Hey, Ana,

    This is actually covered in my Business E-mail Basics article as that is when the Priority feature is used most:

    Business E-mail Basics

    And being this is an E-mail Etiquette Blog, I have to point out to you that part of e-mail etiquette is also making requests in the most apropos venue. Although I am always pleased to answer visitor questions and concerns, your question has nothing to do with the post you replied to.

    When commenting on Blogs, always look for a post that is in line with your query or seek out the site’s contact form if you cannot find a post on the topic you have a question about. Now that’s good e-mail etiquette! ;-)

    HTH!
    Judith
    NetManners.com

  3. AT Williams says:

    The written word is extremely low context. There is no sense of humor but often what we write can be mistaken as aggressive even if we inappropriately use smiley faces and ‘lol’. It is better to be direct and purposeful in writing and bring humor and sentiments to your voice on the phone and in person meetings. The fact that you didn’t mean to convey something the way it is perceived will not excuse you should it be used as exhibit A in a court of law. Let’s be responsible. We can all read but we are not mind readers.

    • Judith says:

      Hey, AT:

      I agree 100%! But there will be times when you need to let someone know you are joking — and that’s where a winky or smiley face comes in handy. It takes the potential misunderstanding that the comment was to be taken seriously right off the table.

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