Are Your E-mails Tone Deaf?

There is a tone to every e-mail you send. It’s all about what words you choose, how you use them, format them, bold them and your choice of punctuation. I believe many neglect to consider how their tone will be perceived by the other side. What then happens is misunderstandings galore!

When you bold words, that makes them bold in emphasis. Then turning them red means you are making sure that text is not overlooked. Bold and red make an emotional statement and you then have tone oozing out of your e-mail. The very same bold and red in an e-mail to your Mother may be perceived differently than bold and red in an e-mail to a new acquaintance.

Your perceived tone will differ based on how well someone knows you.

It is wise if you are typing about an emotional subject to wait until you can review your e-mail in a less than emotional state. If you’ve been enjoying adult beverages — just walk away from the computer and don’t send a single e-mail until the next day. You’ll thank yourself later if you put yourself through a minor waiting period in lieu of pounding out an emotional response on your keyboard and hitting your Send button without thought as to your perceived tone.

One of the most dangerous tone “increasers” is overuse of punctuation. Why the heck do people use more than one exclamation point!!!!!!!! Don’t they understand that one question mark is enough????? Communicating in this manner tends to come off as demanding and condescending. Just one ! or ? is enough.

When you are unsure if your e-mail is relaying your intend tone and emotional strength, read your e-mail out loud as though you were reading it to the person you are sending to. You might be surprised at how your e-mail “sounds” when read out loud. Use that opportunity to tweak your e-mail to be more reflective of what you want to get across.

Ask yourself: “Would I say this, to this person, in this way, if we were face to face?” If you wouldn’t, then don’t hit Send. E-mail is not a tool to say things you don’t have the guts to say in person. Nor is it an excuse to hide behind this screen.

By thinking about the issues mentioned above you’ll have fewer regrets and be perceived as much more sincere, open and honest. Now that’s how you build and nurture relationships via e-mail!

You may also be interested in:

• E-mail Tone is Critical!
• Is Selective Capping in E-mails O.K.?
• No Nothing E-mails
• Email Bullies
• Read Before You Write