O.K., first let’s look at the formal definition of “ignore:”
ig·nore (ĭg-nôr’, -nōr’)
To refuse to pay attention to; disregard.
With the above in mind, if someone doesn’t respond to your e-mail, yes, you are being ignored — they are disregarding your communication. It is sadly that simple.
Week in and week out I get concerned e-mails from site visitors about why they are not receiving responses to their e-mails. They are being ignored. They don’t like it. They think it is rude — and they are right.
The other side of the coin says “I’m too busy…”, “I don’t have enough time…” or even “Yes, I choose to ignore some people and don’t care if they like it or not!”
Why would any one of us want to be concerned about a person that is too busy for us, doesn’t have enough time for us or doesn’t care if we like being ignored or not? The answer to that is don’t be concerned with people who treat you in this manner.
We live in an “all about me” culture. Common courtesies that make one have to take time to consider how their actions (or lack thereof) may affect someone else have gone right out the door off-line. Why should online be any different!?
So to those who don’t like being ignored, move on and communicate only with those who have the time and courtesy for your communications.
For those who ignore, know that by not taking the time to show some courtesy to those who e-mail you will reflect your priorities. And don’t be surprised if those you ignore decide to return the favor.
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So true! People need at most a 48hr turn around and are most appreciative of responses within 5 minutes. When you send an email that is ignored, maybe its best to send another in 2 or 3 days. Make a call after that. If that is ignored too, you know that person is not available to what you have to offer. Either way, you will have sufficient evidence of your effort in the long run and you will have at least tried to connect on a more direct level.
Hey, AT:
What folks don’t consider sometimes it that it is possible the other side has simply been away from the computer or has other reasons — other than intentionally ignoring the sender — as to why they have not yet responded.
That’s why, like you, I suggest doing a follow up first asking if all is well reflecting your concern, before you assume the other side is willingly ignoring you.
Yet another example of Judith’s wisdom that lack of Netiquette is actually revealing the person’s ‘true self’. I’ve recently had to tell someone I knew in ‘real life’ not to contact me again because he boasted that he doesn’t “give a toss for Netiquette” and will treat people however he likes. This by e-mail, which he would never dream of doing in person, yet had no qualms in revealing himself online. He would commonly take perhaps a month to reply to my e-mail, yet if I didn’t reply to his immediately he would be on the phone asking had I got it! The offline relationship was all about him, as Judith says is so common these days, sadly! In a way, observing a person’s level of Netiquette is a shortcut to saving hurt when they eventually reveal themselves offline.
Again, thankyou Judith!
Some people do not respond to email unless they also happen to need something from you. Drop them from your contact list.
Hey, Dennis:
You are correct in that it would benefit us all to be very discriminating with whom we e-mail and who is on our lists. If someone consistently does not reflect the courtesy of responding to your e-mails — stop e-mailing them!
There are rude people who do not have time to respond. If you are ignored by
those kind of people,move on and be glad that you know their true color!!
It hurts of course, They’ll be ignored by other people too and hopefully they’ll
learn their lesson.
Hey, Jay:
Well said! Thanks for your comments!