Please: adverb
Used as a polite addition to requests, commands, etc.: if you would be so obliging; kindly: Please come here. Will you please turn the radio off?
E-mails flow into NetManners.com on a daily basis from folks wondering why those who e-mail them for assistance or with requests are so rude and blunt. “Is it me who is being over-sensitive to expect a ‘please’ once and a while?”
Our Mothers taught us to say please and ask nicely for things. Why wouldn’t that apply to e-mail!? The answer is it does — that is if you don’t want folks to cringe when they see your name in their inbox.
You are not over-sensitive to expect a little common courtesy from those who are requesting you do something on their behalf. The next question that then always follows is in regard to how they should respond. Should they ignore these type of requests? Should they ask the other side to say “please?” Many stating that they are inclined to not respond at all until they are asked nicely or in person.
Never stoop to the level of those who are so concerned with only what they need or want at any given moment that they neglect common courtesy. You are better than that. Lead by example, “kill” them with kindness — show them the right way to politely communicate via e-mail!
Taking the time to type these six letters will speak volumes about what it is like to work and communicate with you, not to mention what it says about you as a human being. Most importantly that you are a person that values other’s time and assistance when you need it.
[Visit my Business E-mail Etiquette Blog for more ...]
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I think this again illustrates the very valid and wise point put by Judith some little whole ago: that because some people (wrongly) see e-mail as so casual it is a one-way communication, they actually reveal their true selves by their rude e-mail; they would never think of behaving in such a way face-to-face!
I am so grateful that Judith shared this wisdom with us. So often now I find I don’t need to wait until a person reveals him/herself in person, I just take notice of their e-mail style when their ‘social skills’ are not to the fore.
Thankyou again Judith!
Hey, Rodney:
I’ve had many who give me a goofy look when discuss with them that perceptions are formed by how you choose to e-mail. And a healthy percentage go on to disregard e-mail etiquette as though our discussion didn’t take place or what I recommend is not necessary. But as you point out it is true — and a natural thing to make assumptions about what a person is like by virtue of how they communicate with the written word. People do it every day even if they are not consciously aware of it!
Usually when I have this conversation here on my site, I’ll get e-mails from those who point out they don’t care what others think by virtue of their e-mail habits and lack of e-mail etiquette and that’s their business and who am I to “preach” and tell them what to do?
That is their decision to make but they need to understand that those they e-mail will then clearly know they don’t care…
As always thanks for your comments and kind words!