Typing in Caps: “Are they yelling at me?”

Last week brought in 22 e-mails asking what typing in all caps meant. They were all from onliners on the receiving end of e-mail with only certain portions or phrases typed in all caps and weren’t sure what the sender meant.  “Were they yelling at me?”  “Does typing in red caps mean more than plain caps?”

They’ve read that caps means screaming online — but aren’t sure how someone they know typing that way applies to them.  I then explain that it means they are yelling and/or emphasizing what is capped but without seeing the entire e-mail or knowing the person or their relationship with them, I cannot know what level of emphasis was intended.

See that’s the rub. When you cap or bold you leave the level of emphasis up to the recipient! These folks all knew some emphasis was in order — but really weren’t sure how much. I think they knew exactly how much but didn’t like it….

What I discuss all the time is that formatting is a source of many a misunderstanding because senders are not making sure their meaning or intent when doing so is how they want to be perceived. They assume the other side will know what level of emphasis they meant.  Not so — in my experience the other side will always apply more emphasis than supposedly intended thereby another misunderstanding may now commence!

Many type in all caps, bold and increase font size, then get upset when the other side perceives the intent those actions relay.   Since the inception of e-mail (before Judith BTW) typing in all caps was a way of accentuating your meaning. Yelling, screaming, whatever you want to call it, typing in caps was to make a point.

After all these years, it seems folks still do not realize that what words they choose to use and how they choose to type them, makes a difference.  Know that when formatting is used it can affect how the intent of your e-mail will be perceived.

Perception:
tr.v. per·ceived, per·ceiv·ing, per·ceives

1. To become aware of directly through any of the senses, especially sight or hearing.
2. To achieve understanding of; apprehend.

When it comes to your e-mails how does the person on the other side comprehend your intent or meaning? By the words you choose, how you use them and how you may decide to format them. If you bold certain terms, make them red in color and a larger font - what do you think the person on the other side is going to perceive? That you are making a point — to say the least. So don’t get miffed when their reply assumed you were doing just that.

I guess the bottom line is whether you like it or not - these perceptions will be there.  I am of the belief that having a strong vocabulary and command of the English language negates the need for any formatting.  Call me wacky!

“Nihil est in intellectu quod non fuit prius in sensu.”
(”Nothing is in the understanding,
which was not first perceived by some of the senses.”)

Give and Take Corrections with Grace

A topic that I address quite a bit based on Web site visitor inquiries is the ability to take corrections with grace. Almost daily someone e-mails me about how a friend, coworker or family member gets mad at them or calls them rude if they make the suggestion that Netiquette is in order.

I have a bunch of Web sites and I do tons of writing that requires I read, reread, and read again. I can go back to things I have written some time later and find errors that I missed. What happens is that some kind soul ends up at my Web site, generally they have experienced the “Invisible Error Syndrome” too, and they take the time to let me know so that I can make the appropriate corrections.

What do I do when I receive these e-mails? First, let me say that 8 out of 10 of the e-mail I receive are sent with genuine concern in wanting to help. However, there are those who feel the need to correct me as though I am a 5 year old that needs scolding. Fine — either way I have been given the opportunity to learn something and correct my errors.

So, back to how I handle these “corrections.” I sincerely thank them and offer my humble apologies for missing it in the first place. See I take corrections in stride — I am comfortable with the fact I am not perfect. If someone takes the time to help me out, regardless of tone or possible ulterior motive, the result is the same. They have helped me to make my site or article better.

If it is pointed out to you in a kind manner that you need to work on your e-mail skills, or that you did something wrong online, don’t get offended and huffy.  Promptly thank the person who brought the issue to your attention. You have been given the opportunity to learn something new and to improve your skills. Then, go about correcting the situation and make efforts in the appropriate areas to resolve it for the long haul.

If you find someone else needs help with E-mail Etiquette, don’t belittle them or make them feel stupid in how you suggest that they learn more on the subject. If you cannot make corrections or suggestions with kindness; then don’t bother. I’ve never understood why some have to be intentionally rude or condescending when pointing out others mistakes. I also do not understand why some folks react so negatively when being kindly corrected.

By helping other folks learn we are all doing a service to global community by making this environment one that is enjoyable for all to participate - because we are all on the same page — the human page. Don’t get mad if you don’t know everything yet, don’t rest on your laurels and think that you do and don’t kill the messenger if someone points something out to you that you were not aware of.  It is the smarties who Know What They Don’t Know…

Change, learn, grow and the online world will flourish with you!

Exposing Addresses in Forwards

A site visitor was curious and pondered:

Hello,
In forwarding emails, usually, the original message is included in the new email, including the sender’s email address, date & time.  Is there a ruling where if the recipient would like to forward that email to another, to remove the name or email address of the original sender?  Please advise.

The guideline here is to down-edit your e-mail before you forward it along. This means removing any unnecessary stuff from the forward so that you are just forwarding the content or the “guts” that you want others to see.

This includes removing all the headers — this is where the original sender’s address and date are seen as well signature files at the end of the e-mail.   It is very important that everyone make the effort to remove any e-mail addresses left in place by previous Irresponsible Forwarders.  Because those before you didn’t take the time to reflect courtesy and concern for others by removing any visible addresses doesn’t mean you perpetrate the same.

Check out my article that covers the basics of forwarding: 5 Rules for Forwarding E-mails. HTH!

What They Meant Was What?

This week I’ve had more than a handful of folks e-mail me with dilemmas that had to do with interpreting what someone “meant” in an e-mail they received.

When the verbiage they were upset about was provided to me, in most cases I didn’t have the same take or reaction. In regard to one particular e-mail, I had proportionally the opposite perception than that of the person who was upset. They thought the sender was rude - and I really didn’t see what was typed as a rude comment at all.

As a matter of fact, it was a very generalized comment and the recipient choose to take it personally. That is probably because I was not emotionally involved or didn’t know the other party well enough to “read in between the lines.”

You do know what happens when you assume? With e-mail, never assume what someone means. Take them at their word. To read more into what is there based on either your feelings or what you “think” the other person meant is the basis for 99% of the misunderstandings that I am contacted about. Many times what you read into another person’s e-mail is not at all what they meant.

On the other hand, if you type it; you’d better mean it. Online, “I didn’t mean it that way!” simply does not apply. You have the ability to make darned sure what you really mean is what you relay by virtue of the words you choose and how you choose to use them.

Take the time to choose your words carefully, use full sentences - don’t type in cryptic thoughts. By practicing proper grammar and you will help avoid being misunderstood. You can help avoid misunderstandings by choosing your words very carefully, and by using an , or “LOL” where appropriate to set the tone.

In just one small decade, communicating with the written word has once again become mainstream. Each of us regardless of our profession, hobbies or educational background, needs to learn how to communicate with clarity in our e-mail.

You can not assume you will be understood if you don’t take the time to ensure your e-mails are clear and concise. If you work at your writing and vocabulary skills, as I do each and every day, you can avoid any unnecessary misunderstandings, be perceived favorably and will definitely have more fun too!

Remember, you are what you type!

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