Avoid E-mail Misunderstandings

Most misunderstandings could have been easily avoided if one side or the other did not:

1. Assume what the other meant.
2. Read into an e-mail what wasn’t there.
3. Take the time to be clear about their intent and tone.

We’re all rushed. I hear it all the time about how folks don’t have the time to (insert activity here). But what is odd is how onliners do have the time to do certain things and not others. When we whip off an reply based on assuming what someone meant but didn’t actually type — we many times create a difficult situation that could have easily been avoided. The other side then wonders why you responded that way and then does the same and before we know it we have a bunch of unnecessary back and forths about something someone didn’t mean.

To avoid misunderstandings always be pleasant and take the high road. Be sure to ask what someone meant before assuming — even if that means picking up the phone and asking before assuming! When on the brink of a misunderstanding, lack of a greeting and cordial closing only exasperates the situation because you come off as terse or upset.

Overuse of formatting (bolding and red font color) causes an otherwise minor misunderstanding to grow into a full fledged argument. If you are not sure of the other side’s intent, don’t use bold or red fonts — those actions will indicate emphasis — the level of which you leave up to the other side to determine. Risky at best…

Take the time to make sure your intent and tone are clear. If you are not sure of another’s intent or tone — be kind. If you know the other side probably meant to be abrasive or argumentative — “kill” them with kindness. Unfortunately, many times you may have to compensate for the other’s lack of effort to communicate with clarity by doing so in return.

By getting into the habit of integrating proper e-mail etiquette into your day to day communications you can easily avoid and diffuse unnecessary misunderstandings — and set a good example in the process!

Ask Before Forwarding E-mails

Several times each week I get asked for guidance when it comes to forwarding emails written by others.  Should you ask the sender if it is O.K. before forwarding to those they may or may not know an e-mail they sent privately to you? A resounding YES!

Common courtesy alone would dictate you don’t forward without the original sender’s knowledge.   They may not appreciate the e-mail they wrote to you being sent to those they don’t know.  How would you feel if the roles were reversed?

All e-mails are naturally copyright protected by the author upon their creation. So in order to forward a private e-mail to another person, or to post it anywhere online you need to get the writer’s permission to do so first.

Cc’ing doesn’t negate asking for permission.  Private e-mails are sent and written to the party for which they were intended; not to be sent to others without obtaining permission first.  Cc’ing simply advises you are letting them know after the fact that you are forwarding their e-mail without any courtesy or concern for their feelings.

I have an article on forwarding on my site that you might find helpful that covers the 5 Rules for Forwarding

HTH!

Today’s E-mail Faux Pas

Every so often I am astounded at what lands in my inbox. Particularity when you consider these e-mail are from folks who know I support and promote e-mail etiquette and proper technology use.   Some examples of what was waiting for me in my inbox this morning:

=> E-mails just blurting out requests or asking questions without taking the time to include a courteous greeting.  “Hi, Judith” or even a simple “Hello” before you ramble off your demands or questions would refreshing.

=> Please don’t just open any e-mail from me and hit reply then start typing about an unrelated issue to the old e-mail’s SUBJECT: field.   Add me to your address book so that you can start a new e-mail with a subject appropriate to your new list of issues/questions. And, please don’t include the entire old e-mail that has nothing to do with what you are now e-mailing about.

=> Saying “Thank You” or “Appreciate Your Help” after 4-5 questions in a row would be a nice touch.

=> Before sending six unannounced 5Meg attachments, please pop me off an e-mail in advance and ask when would be a good time to send them before you do so without notice and fill my e-mail box.

=> How about removing that fancy red signature file that prevents me from replying in plain text?

=> Proper sentence structure and grammar go a long way to being taken seriously and understanding your intent and the seriousness of your request with one e-mail. How can you expect an e-mail to be given the weight and importance you desire when it is typed in all small case and filled with typos?

Wow! And all that in my e-mail this morning. Guess I still have my work cut out for me!

Subject: Field Tips

On a regular basis those who I communicate with comment on how I take the time to use the Subject: field differently than most they e-mail with.  What I do is consider the Subject: field as the first part of my e-mail rather than an afterthought as most who rush through typing in cryptic thoughts into that field.  By putting priority on this field, I hope to help set the tone or to let the recipient know what to expect.

Here’s what I do that you might find helpful!

Before the established Subject:, I type in the following:

FOLLOW UP:
FYI:
QUESTION:
UPDATE:

Or when I reply to an inquiry I use: REPLY:. Then, as the conversation goes on, I change that to reflect REPLY [2], REPLY [3], etc. Doing this helps both sides keep the conversation in order when organizing e-mails by the Subject:.

You get the idea… By adding to the Subject: field as noted above, I let the other side know basically why I am replying to that specific e-mail and what I am looking for.   And, it helps both sides to be more organized too!

HTH!

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