Want vs. Right

I’ve been doing technology for 13 years. One thing that hasn’t changed, unfortunately, is many onliners ability to be open to new concepts and information.

“I don’t want to!”

If I had a dollar for every time I was asked for my advice and it was not heeded, I would have retired long ago. When asked for any advice I provide it in a detailed and informative way based on more experience than most. This way, the asker knows the reasoning behind my answer so they can make an educated decision.

“I don’t want to!”

Too often my advice isn’t what the asker “wants” to hear, do or apply. You can thank all the hype and misinformation off and online about being able to do what you want without repercussions for this prevailing attitude.

I am befuddled on a daily basis as to what the big deal is in integrating E-mail Etiquette into one’s daily e-mail activities. It takes very little effort and once you go through my site and at the very least take my E-mail Etiquette 101 you then know what to do and consider and it’s simple to apply.

Practicing E-mail Etiquette, just as most things in life, is a choice. You can choose to disregard the information because you don’t want to make the effort or feel it isn’t necessary — that is your choice too.

What is ironic however is how these very same folks do not like the aftereffect that their choices have resulted in. You can’t have it both ways. If you choose to not practice E-mail Etiquette then you can’t be upset if:

• Business E-mails are not taken as seriously.
• Job inquiries are not considered.
• Formating choices will land your e-mail in the trash or blocked by spam filters.
• Formatting choices can make your words be over emphasized and cause unnecessary misunderstandings.
• Your e-mails may be perceived as demanding and/or terse.
• You are viewed as uneducated or unprofessional.
• Your e-mails get deleted because they are not viewed as legitimate or worth responding to.

These are just a few of the negative results that ignoring or disregarding E-mail Etiquette can cause. All because one doesn’t want to make the effort to do what is right…

UK is Cringing

I received an e-mail from a kind gentleman overseas in the UK yesterday asking:

“How can I stop people beginning emails with the ghastly American word ‘hi’ and get them to use a less phoney form of address, such as ‘Dear Sir’”?

To which I responded that I really didn’t see anything wrong with having “Hi” as a greeting in an informal e-mail. I didn’t know the word “Hi” was American; nor do I consider it ghastly.

In my view it is better than nothing, friendly and certainly you don’t go to the other extreme and Dear Sir or Madame everyone as he suggests. Especially folks you are on a first name basis with. So I am assuming he means in business communications where just a “Hi” may be too informal depending on the e-mail and contacts involved.

To which his response on this issue was:

“You’ve no idea how “Hi” makes lots of British people cringe…”

I guess I didn’t. This goes to show kind readers that there are “enuances” we all need to be aware of and pay attention to. For some reason those in the UK cringe and don’t like an e-mail starting with “Hi”.

When communicating with new contacts in the UK use your highest level of formality (as I recommend for all e-mails and new contacts) until which time those on the other side (in this case on the other side of the pond) give you an indication you can relax and become more informal.

To those other kind readers out there, outside the USA, why not pipe in with some of the issues that are specific to your region or country that we are not yet aware of. I am always interested in learning how those outside the USA feel about e-mail, formality, addressing, sign-offs and the like.

Let’s all work together to make sure that we are not making anyone cringe!

What To Do About No Replies?

A site visitor inquires about a topic we all may deal with during the upcoming Holiday season:

Love your site, Judith! How do you recommend that I deal with friends and family that I email and they don’t always respond? I always take the time to respond to those who email me. TIA!

Glad you like my site. Don’t take the fact that folks don’t reply to your emails too personally. Many are only thinking of themselves and the time they have at hand at that moment during the busy Holiday season. Very self absorbed I know, but that seems to be the reason given most. “I just don’t have time!”

Just as you do, I try to respond to every email that I receive. That said, what I’ve found is that many assume that a response is not warranted unless you ask a specific question.

Maybe in your next communication make a brief comment that you would like to confirm if they did get your last email because you would like to hear back from them.

And to those who don’t have time — may I suggest you make the time to send a courtesy response to those who e-mail you? By not responding you make them feel ignored and if the shoe were on the other foot, you wouldn’t like it either!

“Attract More Bees with Honey”

This saying applies to e-mail as well. By putting in the extra effort and thought into being a pleasure to communicate with will get better results.

Courtesy isn’t only about holding doors open, saying thank you or helping a neighbor — it applies to e-mail as well. By adding courtesy, you are then perceived as someone the other side will want to assist, respond to, go the extra mile for.

We all get a ton of e-mails. To the point where we sometimes have to prioritize and be selective with whom we are going to respond to, in how much details — or if at all.

When you don’t include a greeting, a kind question or inquiry and a thank you in advance for your help and sign your name, your request is viewed as demanding and terse.

For example:

Subject: info needed

i need to know how to get the details organized the way i like. i am wiling to pay a small fee for your assistance but don’t want to get ripped off.

please rely ASAP!!!!!

Now, how much better is this with just a little effort and courtesy?

Hello, Judith:

I’ve reviewed your site and am hoping you could be of assistance. Here is what I would like to accomplish (details here….).

If this is something you can help me with, please let me know at your convenience what will be involved in time and cost.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
John Doe

To think that how you e-mail doesn’t make a difference is naive at best. To think that you will have those on the other side scrambling to reply (instead of hitting delete) to a request like the first is simply wishful thinking.

Courtesy, consideration and taking the time to communicate as a civil human being will speak volumes as to what it will be like to work with you, help you, hire you, acknowledge your request.

Taking the time, making the time to put your best foot forward is always time well spent!

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