Assuming Gender in E-mail

Well, you know what happens when you assume?

I am always talking about not assuming when it comes to an e-mail. Assuming never leads to anything positive. If you are unsure; ask.

In the global environment in which we all are now playing, to assume if someone is male or female can cause you to not make a very good impression.

A site visitor writes:

“My name is Nikita. It’s a typical Russian male name, but when I send e-mails to other countries, people got some problems with identifying my gender when looking at my sig. As a result, in response I got the messages starting with “dear ms. Nikita” Can I put “mr” somewhere in the sig to avoid misunderstanding?”

I actually get that too! From people who do not take the time to read my site to know I am a female or those from other cultures that don’t know my name is one only used by females (that I know of). So I get e-mails addressed to Mr. on a regular basis. I wouldn’t let it bother you too much.

I think in your case, people may relate that name to a popular TV show where the lead female was named Nikita. I have to admit I might have found myself making the same mistake. Now, thanks to you I’ll be more careful with names I am not sure about.

Putting a Mr. in your sig file is just fine. However, that may make you appear more formal than you may prefer. If you are a formal guy — that’s O.K. then. I think you have a unique and cool name and if someone misidentifies your gender, simply and kindly sent them straight.

If you are unclear of an e-mailers, gender, don’t assume. If it is important to know, then ask. Now that I think about it, I e-mail folks with gender neutral names (Pat, Chris, Kerry, Robyn, Frances, Kylie, Sam, Joe, Bernie) all the time and have never thought of their gender in how I communicate with them. An issue for all of us to be cognisant about!

E-mail & Bandwidth

Several of my e-mail buddies across the globe have recently brought up the topic of e-mail and bandwidth. Is it an issue? To some, yes!

Now that technology seems to feel as though it has been part of our lives forever, there are still folks relegated to dial-up accounts. For example, when I left the rat race over one year ago and left congested crazy Chicago where I was born and moved to rural Mississippi, there is nothing but dial-up! No DSL; no cable. You have no choice but to use dial-up or pay the expense of having satellite (”broadband” with chronic latency) installed — and that isn’t cheap!

Keep in mind when you format your e-mails that adds to the download time. Background graphics, moving thing-a-ma-jigs, embedded photos can all add to the weight of your e-mail and take longer to view for those of us who live outside metropolitan areas and who still do not have a choice for our connectivity.

This also includes attaching numerous photos without notice or consideration to their size. If you attach photos, make sure they are no larger than 500 pixels in width and attach no more than a few at a time. Those of us on less than broadband will appreciate your efforts and thoughtfulness!

If You Wouldn’t Say It To Their Face…

Amazing how bold onliners are while safely hiding behind these screens! The lack of face-to-face contact makes them bolder than they normally would be allowing them to type in a manner in which they wouldn’t dare speak.

Ask a question they don’t like — they can safely ignore you. Point out a fact that may not be in line with their agenda and that too gets overlooked while they type back with venom and vigor. Selective replies abound.

This doesn’t include those who cannot communicate without throwing in profanities. We all know what kind of person resorts to using that type of language to make their pont (it shows they don’t have one) and we already know not to take them seriously. We’ll let their choice of verbiage speak for itself.

What I am referring to here today is the onliners who type in a rude and curt manner. They make demands or accusations based on no facts or basis in reality simply because they can. 9 out of 10 times when I run into someone who communicates in this manner you can bet they have no intention of paying attention to what I have to type. Their sole motive and goal for the moment is to be nasty and demanding. Who cares what the facts are! Who cares if what they perceive to be true isn’t!

If you want to be taken seriously, always make sure that you are clear, that you state facts, that you make the effort to type in such a manner that you won’t be misunderstood. This includes full sentences, proper grammar and spelling as well a standard greeting and closing. If you can’t take the time to communicate like an educated human being, take a deep breath, wait until the next day — or better yet don’t e-mail at all.

And most importantly, if you wouldn’t say it their face — don’t type it in an e-mail. Doing so will only make you look like an uneducated inconsiderate bully.

E-mail Newbies

First, let’s show the official definition of what a Newbie is:

new·bie /ˈnubi, ˈnyu‑/ [noo-bee, nyoo‑]
–noun
a newcomer or novice, esp. an inexperienced user of the Internet or of computers in general.
[Origin: 1965–70, Americanism; perh. newb(orn) + -ie]

Back in the late 1980s or even in the 1990s, Newbies were everywhere. Even I was an Internet Newbie at one point in time! It’s true!

Each of us goes through our Newbie phase. That said, at some point you are no longer a Newbie. That is if you are open to learning and embrace the information necessary to use the technology in which you are participating.

Newbie is not a permanent label nor should it be. Part of technology is that you will always be learning new due to things evolving constantly. But that doesn’t mean you remain stagnant and don’t learn the basics of how and why in regard to using technology properly.

I run into E-mail Newbies all the time and am here to help. But if a Newbie e-mails me about one thing and their e-mail includes numerous other E-mail Etiquette faux pas — I will kindly point that out to them so they can learn and leave Newbieville.

We all should be patient with the Newbies in our lives. But we should all also do them a favor by pointing out the information and issues they need to be aware of and practice so that they can look forward to a more enjoyable and productive online experience.

E-mail Etiquette is just on of those issues.

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